Scan results

I had a call this morning to give us the results of the scans earlier this week. The results are mixed. As far as my trunk is concerned, there has been little change, and one lung lesion has gone altogether. Unfortunately the brain scan was not so positive: I have about six nodules in the brain, which were not evident on the previous January scan.

If there were just one or two lesions then the usual treatment would be surgery. However given the number present the proposed treatment plan is for me to see the radiotherapy consultant in Bristol on Tuesday, with a view to targeted radiotherapy, possibly followed by surgery. There is no point in pretending that this is not a set-back; brain lesions can develop slowly, but can also turn aggressive very quickly, which can, depending on location, lead to sudden loss of function or senses.

From our point of view, Christine and I feel that it is important to take each day at a time, and to listen to what the doctors have to offer by way of treatment. The prognosis and outcome are little changed by this news, and I feel are best left in God's hands. I know you will all continue to send us your best wishes and prayers, for which we thank you. I should have more to tell you after Tuesday, but am unsure that there will be much to add before then.

On a more positive note, I am hopeful that the addition of the latest nerve painkiller is having a beneficial effect, as the pain has been noticeably reduced in the last couple of days. I won't really know if this is the case until I've built up to the full dose by the middle of next week, and have reduced the extra morphine that I'm currently taking down to the planned level.

An unscheduled trip to Bristol

This morning at around 11 I arranged to have my MRI and CT scans in Bristol next Monday. Shortly thereafter I received an appointment to see the Orthopaedic consultant (also in Bristol) next Wednesday. By 12 the Chemotherapy consultant had confounded the entire plan and brought the scans forward to this afternoon so that he could see the results before going to California on Friday! So, despite having visitors arriving this evening who couldn't be contacted, we made the familiar trip north yet again.

The scans themselves were unremarkable, if you discount the fact that an MRI head scan feels and sounds as if you've got your head in a cement mixer which is being cleaned out with bricks, and the injection they give you for a CT scan makes you feel warm all over and leaves a funny taste in the mouth. The doctor who put the cannula in my arm clearly needs practice, preferably on an orange, before I let him near me again. Trouble is, when you are on the table, arms out-stretched, with no-one else to appeal to within earshot, you are rather at a disadvantage.

Anyway, we are home now, visitors suitably greeted and tucked up in bed, so I can drivel on to you about my disrupted day. The plan from here is that I should get the scan results on Friday, and the Wednesday appointment should give me more information about the orthopaedic options available to me, including amputation.

Not content with the above, we've also received an update to my pain control prescription and I now have another potion to take. The capsules look an innocuous grey, but it takes a week to build up to the full dose so I suspect their bite is stronger than their bark! I've also received my referral to the pain control consultant in Exeter, and can ring tomorrow to make an appointment.

This all feels like progress, and the prospect of being able to get control of the pain has bucked me up somewhat. As ever, thanks to all who contacted me with good wishes after reading my recent downbeat entry. And now, good night!

Another insight into Google

I never cease to be amazed by the power of Google. In this case, it's the Insight facility, which allows one to look at what people have searched for, by date or period, by country and/or sub-region of said country! To have a play with this, go to the Google Insight Search page and, well, play! It's good fun and it's free - and possibly quite scary! Tell me what you think.

Turning to yesterday's posts, I'd like to thank everyone for the various emails and other supportive responses. For some reason I'm reminded of a Tony Hancock sketch from the 60's. Tony was acting the role of an aircraft mechanic who was servicing a plane when it took off with him clinging to the outside of the cockpit, yelling blue murder. The pilot (Sid James or Kenneth Williams?) pulls the canopy back and asks "Where's your stiff upper lip?" "Under this loose flabby chin!", came the response.

No-one commented on the fish-tank, or realised that by holding the mouse over the tank you can get the fish to swim towards it. You can even click the spanner to change the number and colour of the fishes! This is a one example of many 'gadgets' which can be attached to a blog, but perhaps you're all too busy to play with the fish. I won't bother to switch them for Soduku...

So what DO you want to hear about?

I've been mulling over the absence of news, which still seems to upset the adrenaline junkies amongst you, and wondering what I could write about. In the end I decided to ask you if any of the ideas that have occurred to me would be of interest.

Today, for example, I've spent researching various technical things which interest me. I may have mentioned to some of you that it appalls me that computers which are thousands of times more powerful than when I started in the profession should run so slowly because of the sheer inefficiency of modern software. A lot of this is down to $icrosfoft and Windoze. I have been looking for a suitable alternative, preferably free, and have settled on something called Ubuntu. The software it is descended from was invented by a Finn called Linus Torvalds in the 60's. He has since been named as one of the top 100 Finns ever - can anyone (apart from George Marshall) name any of the remaining 99? :-)

Along the way I've had to look into various technical details, such as how to create 'virtual' CD/DVD drives, which run hundreds of times faster than real ones; and how to store the large number of passwords and account details which I've stored on your behalf when rebuilding your systems - let's face it, most of you don't know them!

Now I can accept that such stuff is way too geeky for normal folk, so I wonder if instead you might be interested in something like using an alternative browser to Internet Explorer. I use Firefox for the most part, because it's quick, reasonably secure, and can be customised in all sorts of ways to suit my way of working. For example, I can block all pop-ups and unwanted adverts, automatically delete my browser trail at the end of a session, and add features that I find useful. One that I'm experimenting with at the moment is Stumbleupon, which lets me set my areas of interest, and then compare the sites I've found useful (or not) with those of others who share the same interests. It looks like a great way of harnessing the help of lots of people to help me with my research!

If neither of these are interesting, I may have to fall back on telling you how I am. To be honest, I'm a bit down at the moment. I think this is because we seem to have run out of treatment options. Up to now life has been one long round of appointments, treatments, and waiting to see whether or not the cancer responds. We now know that nothing out there has any effect, which is both a relief - chemotherapy and radiotherapy are not in the least enjoyable - but also rather dispiriting. Having said that, today we have decided to ask for a referral to the Exeter Pain Clinic, which is easier to get to than Bristol; and to have a few of the more irritating scalp lesions removed for the sake of comfort.

On one level, I'm not unhappy about the situation; I'm confident my immortal soul is in Good Hands. On a human level however, I worry about my nearest and dearest, and the group of friends that we have come to value during our time in Dalwood.

So there you have it - a choice between the absurdly irrelevant stuff with which I choose to distract myself, or the very un-British practice of being open about one's thoughts and feelings. If neither of these appeal, other ideas are welcome!

Nothing to report...

Have you ever had writer's block? Have you ever suffered from a complete failure of imagination? Have you ever had a couple of days where nothing much happens? Then you will understand the feelings of this blog-writer. Unfortunately he has received several messages from readers who deem inactivity a crime. I've decided that the only thing I can do is to point out that, from my point of view, having nothing to report is A GOOD THING! It's true! - no new aches, no new pains, lumps or bumps.

However, bear with me. I'm expecting a new round of scans and other diagnostics in the next couple of weeks. It is my firm intention to continue to bore you rigid - wish me luck!

Thank you!

I haven't got anything of note to report today, so I'll limit myself to saying thanks to all who emailed, rang and/or posted in response to my last couple of posting. Even amongst a fairly small readership I am amazed how many people know others in a similar situation, or have a friend who is a pain control specialist, or some-such other useful connection. For one thing it helps me not to feel quite so medically isolated, and for another it gives me avenues to pursue before having to decide on something quite so drastic as amputation.

Somebody else wrote to say that reading the blog helped them to put their own worries in perspective - which also helps to make the effort worthwhile. You really are a great bunch of folk!

If tomorrow is as news-free as today then I'll give you all a break for a day or two. The only alternative is to post about topping and tailing the blackcurrants kindly donated by Mr Major, or about my home-grown technique for repairing the workshop ceiling. Interested? No, I thought not!

Is anyone there?!

It's not often that I've known the readers of this blog to be lost for words, but the last post seems to have achieved that! To be fair, several of you have responded by email, and your comments have been useful. Some of you have even known people in a similar situation, which is amazing.

From our point of view, we intend to take our time, investigate all the options, and only decide what to do after we feel we understand the situation as well as we can. In the meantime, please don't go quiet on me or I'll think I've offended you!

If you all need cheering up, why not go and have a look at the Darwin Awards? There's something there for everyone. You can even leave me a comment telling me which is your favourite award (please?).

'Bye for now.